Sparkbroken
by IHeartFanFiction23
Summary: Arcee's thoughts on Prime's death. A/N: Set during ROTF


**Arcee's POV**

I arrived with the other Autobots at the scene, I saw Sam running towards Bumblebee who sped away at Ratchet's orders. It was then I saw the fallen body of our great leader Optimus Prime and I felt my spark tighten under my chest plates. As I fell into battle with my fellow Autobots, my thoughts on what was going to happen now that Optimus was dead and who was going to be the new leader. Since coming to Earth, I had come to realize and accept that I was the only femme here. Discouraging as it was as there would be no other females here to interact with; I was reassured by our leader that hopefully more femmes would come.

Speaking of our leader, there had been a connection of some sort between Optimus and myself, and we soon became good friends, comrades. We worked well together out in the field against the Decepticons, taking them on and kicking their afts. Optimus taught us a few new things and tricks the Autobots had learned, as well as informing us that the humans' weapons could hurt us.

He was wonderful leader and I looked up to him, everyone does…well did.

That was going to change now that…that he was gone.

Afterwards, we headed back to our New Jersey Base which was closest and when I saw Major Lennox's expression it took all my willpower not to break down. There was a secret no one knew, a secret romance between two bots kept quiet and a love so strong. My spark shattered as my thoughts consumed me. The love of my eternal life, the brave and kind, loving, compassionate, strong and beautiful and so many other words I could not describe, was no more.

I felt a pair of optics on me but I ignored them as I made my way to the C-17 plane that was taking us back to our home base at Diego Garcia, I would suffer in silence and I wasn't sure if I would be able to go on. How do you go on when the love of your life has died and left you alone?

Boarding the plane, I made my way to a corner and sat down by myself drawing up my knees to my chest plates, hunching over and not wanting to be disturbed. I watched as they loaded Optimus' lifeless body onto my plane before closing the door, it was then I noticed Lennox had joined me aboard the plane along with Sergeant Epps and other troops.

I remained curled into myself in my little corner as I felt the plane begin to come to life, I could not for the life of me remove my optics from the lifeless body in front of me. Hearing movement, I ignored it not wanting to particularly talk to anyone at the moment. Out of the corner of one of my optics, I spied Lennox sitting beside me quietly his eyes too, on Optimus' lifeless body. Silence filled the inside of the plane and Lennox took it into account that I didn't want to speak to anyone and I gratefully appreciated it. Feeling a hand on my leg comfortingly, I sighed and tilted my head back closing my optics.

A memory slipped from my memory banks and into my processor of a conversation Optimus and I had, my personal favorite. It was the one of how we had gotten together.

_*Flashback*_

_One year ago_

_Everyone was taking a break back at our Diego Garcia base, after taking on Decepticons for so long moving from continent to continent and unfortunately, leaving behind damage that was going to cost the United States Government billions of dollars. I had needed to get away from everyone, mainly the twins and decided to proceed into an empty hangar for peace and quiet. I had been quietly resting when I heard the sound of a truck's engine, at first I thought it was Ironhide but when I transformed I was surprised to find a semi-peterbilt sitting near me. Slowly it transformed into our leader, Optimus Prime. _

_Crossing my arms over my chest plates, I waited to see what he wanted and so I could hopefully go back into stasis_

_"I'm sorry for disturbing you, Arcee" he began "I just wanted to make sure you were okay, I know the twins have been harassing you" he added._

_Of course he was concerned, he was the leader and he was just looking out for me because I was the only female. The twins were making passes at me, seeing as being the only femme I was the only one who could continue on keeping our species alive and I had to take a sparkmate. It was the last thing I had wanted to deal with in the middle of the war, the twins had such terrible timing bringing up stuff like that_

_"Thanks for your concern Prime but I'm fine, I can handle it" I told him_

_"I never said you couldn't" he said "it was just inappropriate for Mudflap and Skids to bring up information like that, I'm sure you don't want to be thinking about something like that while we're in the middle of the war" he added._

_Jeez, was this bot a processor reader?_

_Though I hadn't spoken it out aloud, in truth, I did want a sparkling. Spending so long alone, it seemed to other bots that I wasn't one for trivial thoughts as this but I was. However, with the war continually raging on between the Autobots and Decepticons, I doubted I would have time to find a sparkmate and have a sparkling._

_My arms moved from my chest plates and secured themselves around my shoulders, my chin resting on my right hand. I had had a few relationships but the bots I had been with, I hadn't considered parental material for my future sparkling._

_A gentle hand placed on my shoulder, along with a gentle voice pulled me out of my processor_

_"Arcee are you alright?"_

_My optics seemed to fall back into reality to see a concerned Optimus gazing at me, shaking away my thoughts I smiled_

_"Yeah I'm fine, just have something on the processor" I replied_

_"I will leave alone to your thoughts then" he said as he removed his hand and turned to leave._

_Not knowing what possessed me, I hesitated for a moment and then called out to my leader_

_"Optimus?"_

_He stopped and turned back around_

_"Yes?"_

_"Uh…out of pure curiosity and sheer embarrassment, on my part…can I ask you…would I be a good mother?"_

_That question seemed to surprise him and if I could blush, I would have probably turned several different shades of red._

_What in the name of Cybertron had possessed me to ask such a strange question?_

_Shaking my head, I walked passed him thinking I had completely and irreversibly embarrassed myself in front of him when, to my surprise, I heard him speak_

_"With pure honesty I believe that, yes, you would be a good mother. You are an independent, forceful, strong-minded, passionate, intelligent, funny and beautiful young femme who would make a good mother to a sparkling, even if you don't think and believe you will" he replied "I know I would want someone as beautiful as you and the femme I loved as mother of my sparkling."_

_I froze up hearing the last part; it was uttered so low that I was sure that I was hearing things. Slowly I turned around to look at him_

_"Me? Mother of your sparkling?"_

_Optimus turned around and I swore his cheek plates turned red_

_"You… heard me?" he asked._

_I looked at him as if to say "duh!" Then, everything he said about me sunk in and I realized he had called me beautiful…twice! Suddenly I was beginning to wonder what exactly he was implying, it was strange hearing him say this but I had a feeling he was just saying this to make me feel better_

_"Well, that's very kind of you to say and all but…wait a minute! Backtrack a second…" I trailed off my memory banks trying to remember what he had said and my optics widened "did you just say you loved me?" I asked hoping to Primus he was joking._

_That time, I was positive he blushed. Oh my, it was definitely no joke._

_Me? Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots could have any female he wanted and he wanted me?_

_Suddenly, I realized he had moved because now he was standing right in front of me. I opened my mouthplates to ask him questions but when he lowered his head and pressed his mouthplates to mine, the questions immediately disappeared from my processor. I was apprehensive at first but slowly, I succumbed to him my arms picking themselves up and wrapping themselves around his neck on their own accord. I learnt from the World Wide Web about kissing, I knew about it but I wanted to know what humans thought about it._

_It had been stated that when some people kissed, they said that fireworks seemed to go off in their minds, which according to them, was a good thing. So as I stood there in the hangar, I saw those fireworks, cliché and human as that may sound, and knew instantly that Optimus and I were meant to be._

_Finally, he gently pulled away resting his forehead against my own_

_"To answer your question, yes I did"_

_"How long?" I asked_

_"A few months after you arrived" he replied smiling_

_"Prime, that was a year ago" I reminded him_

_"Exactly" his smile turning into a grin "what about you?"_

_"Uh…heh…a few months ago" I replied sheepishly._

_Optimus just chuckled and kissed me gently_

_"I… don't want to… tell the… others" I said through kisses which were soon stopped when he looked at me "please? Not just yet, I just want us to get used to the idea of being together" I added_

_"Of course, I am willing to wait to tell the others" he said._

_See, I knew there was a reason why I loved this Autobot, he was so understanding_

_"By the way" I said "I think I might love you too" I teased._

_He arched an optic ridge_

_"You think?"_

_"No" I snorted with a smirk "I know I love you…" I began to walk out of the hangar "old-fart" I added teasingly, grinning when I heard a growl in response even though he knew it was a joke and heard him mutter_

_"Tease."_

_*End Flashback*_

When I opened my optics, I saw everyone standing up and I realized that the plane had stopped flying. It appeared we had landed back in Diego Garcia. Immediately, I got up and walked off the plane. Ignoring everyone's concerned voices, I transformed into my alt. mode and drove towards the empty hangar where Optimus and I first confessed our love to each other a year ago. Entering the empty hangar, I transformed and pressed a button on the wall. The doors began to close and I stood waiting for them, feeling optics and eyes on me.

Once they were shut, I walked over to a corner at the other end of the empty hangar and sat down. I lay down on my side, curling up in on myself in what was called a fetal position by the humans and began to unleash my emotions, letting all the sadness consume me and I cried…completely sparkbroken.

**The End.**


End file.
